THE ACCIDENTAL ASIAN

Veteran’s 10k 2011.  i hadn’t done an actual running race since Jingle All the Way back in 2008. i guess i started getting into cycling hard core in 2009 and then transitioned into multisport, never returning to pure runing until now.  sure i ran outside, and then on treadmills while also training on the bike.  but to do a pure running race again was nice. 

so a quick recap of the race:  first, i ended up at the wrong end of Potomac Park, which is quite large and several miles wide.  so when i thought i would have enough time to register and get in line ended up watching as the first line of runners started and then frantically running to registration, stabbing myself with pins while getting to the startline and very ungracefully launching myself over the timing strip.  and then it hit me, all i saw ahead of me was near empty road; and it was only the beginning of the race.  but darn it i could at least still record my time.  so i just started running.  with the adrenaline from rushing at the start still pumping through my veins, i actually made it up to the last few stragglers from the mass start that had already started walking (well before the one mile mark).  through the power walkers and casual walkers to the joggers i told myself that i would be ok if i got up to the main group that started.  mile one down and i started to feel alright, i could do this, i felt my body relax into a steady rhythm.  maybe i was in better shape than i thought because i expected my lungs to be on fire, but surprisingly they didnt hurt. however, between mile 2 and 3 i started to feel my quads.  at first it was the small twinge of feeling the muscle being pulled.  by mile 4, i was all too aware of both my quads.  by this point i was solidly in the middle back, i had managed to get myself back up to the mass start of runners and was passing people with each stride.  by mile 5 my quads were definitely hurting, i could feel them tensing up.  i wanted to stop and walk so badly i could taste it.  but i had run five miles easily without stopping on the treadmill earlier this summer.  HTFU, jaemie, you can do this i kept telling myself.  I did walk twice, for 30 seconds each.  the first time i thought this would help with the pain in my quads.  wrong.  the second time i thought my legs were just going to stop so i slowed to a walk.  by the time i came to the bridge where mile 6 was just up ahead, i just wanted the race to be over.  i could see the finishline a ways ahead.  for some reason i fixed my mind on the white finishline banner.  white was all i could see, white was all i was thinking about.  white meant the end, white meant home.  as i could see more and more of the white finishline, my mind went blank. 

when my mind went blank, i could feel a wave of nothingness wash over me.  everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.  my quads didnt hurt anymore, my legs didnt hurt, my heart didnt hurt.  there was nothing at the last 500 yards but me and the white banner.  nothing mattered more to me than getting to that banner.  my stride lengthened, my muscles relaxed, i was flying past the other runners.  i honestly don’t know where i got that last burst of energy, because i seriously felt like i was going to collapse before the 6 mile marker.

i guess it is true, the mind is stronger than the body.

an extra hour of sleep in the morning means getting out when it’s dark outside.  definitely trainer season.  hopefully my team can swing unofficial spinning classes in the off season- cuz i will be needing some extra motivation for the gran fondos this summer. 

spent 40 minutes on the trainer last night which felt surprisingly good considering i have been slacking off recently.  i guess i unconsiously needed some extra adreneline in my system because i ended up finally unpacking my books which made me clean the floors thus creating much more space in the living room.  motivated by my domesticity, i  also went grocery shopping since eating white rice was getting old.  sadly, this is the most productive i have been on a monday night in awhile.   

so treadmills are the human hamster wheels of endless, mindless running in place.  maybe this is why i am kind of hesitant to try out the treadmills in my new building.  the treadmills at myold place; i knew how it logged the miles, the time, even the pace.  each treadmill system is different- a 6 minute mile on one machine is not that same as  a 6 minute mile on another.  some mark your progress continually, others in quarters. i actually really liked the treadmills at my old place- to the point where i wanted to go run.  there was some small satifiscation of completing that 45 minutes and knowing that the machine read somewhere in the 5 mile range.  just like i liked knowing i could do my 8 mile run with my eyes closed and not get lost. 

 i have yet to navigate around my new neighborhood for an actual run around the city.  it gets tougher to navigate and i am less willing to get lost for hours in the cold than in the warmth of spring. 

change leaves a lot up to the unknown.  it is not constant, reliable or even soothing.  its filled with fear of failure.  but change is necessary.

my murakami sits forlorn on my dining table.  close to 900+ pages, it is certainly an impressive tome, sitting sentiently stoic unread.

i am trying to get through my american classics of old and new.  neil gaiman’s american gods, but more importantly philip k dick’s the penultimate truth whose return date to the library is quickly approaching. 

and yet i still have the unbroken by laura hillendbrand to finish as well.

oni-ki TENSNAKE